A Taliban lurking inside?

Recently I have had experiences that has made me wonder about how democratic our thoughts can be? Can a mere Constitution alone protect and provide without the help of its society?

Lat month a couple of instances forced me to ask this question that if given a chance how far would we go in the name of our faith, religion and belief. What is acceptable and what is not?

My dad's driver's daughter ran away and married out of her caste. The driver was informed late in the evening. He was in shock. I could see the despair in his eyes. My dad's gunman even threatened the boy but ultimately the fear of losing a daughter forever prevailed and requests were made to the couple to return home with a promise that this marriage will be solemnized with a reception.

The daughter however was scared that this might be a trap and she could be putting her husband's life in danger. I don't know what happened. The driver continues to be present at work. He salutes my dad with the same zest every morning and looks alright.

I can't imagine him killing his daughter or her husband. And then coming to work and driving my dad to court.
But what I can imagine is that if he was in a position to do something else than accepting this marriage, he would have done so. His only statement during the time of distress was, "abhi yahi gaaon mein hua hota to jinda nahi bachti." (If the same incident had happened in the village she wouldn't have been alive.)

Another marriage that made things clearer was that of a Hindu brahmin girl with a Christian adivasi boy. A registered marriage to suit everyone's convenience. (Many felt that the wedding did not deserve a gala treatment especially when it's not keeping the Hindu Brahminical sentiments in mind)
This was not the ideal match that the family had thought of. An inter-caste marriage is never easy to digest. The father of the bride after having failed to convince the girl organised a small reception. Some came and many boycotted.
People belonging from older generations said it was intolerable, while some from mine had the same view. I was present at all times.

During the time the girl was reading her vows, I happen to look at her father. His shoulders were drooping down, and there were tears in his eyes. I am sure this is not the wedding he had planned for his only daughter. But here is a man who was courageous enough to take the criticism of the society and with it made a solid statement that he will always be there with his daughter!

Looking at both incidents, my only question is why are fathers either forced to disown, kill or become meek and silent spectators if their daughters chose to marry out of their caste or religion?

Because deep down even if these fathers want to accept the situation without really adding the tragic bit, they are held guilty. The fact that a man is forced to take a stand against his own childern just to show loyalty to the norms of society is quite deplorable.

The truth remains that the girl who marries out of her caste/religion at least fades away from public memory. But the father of that girl doesn't! He can never find to redeem himself in the eyes of society. People around question/taunt or humiliate him till he too starts seeing this as a crime.

Recently the Khap Panchayat has been criticized to the core. These Taliban type courts that run their own parallel justice system ordering execution of people in the name of preserving and protecting their religion and culture have existed for long.
Ironically when a debate is started on such topics, people limit their view to the visual violence that's at hand. For example, the honour killings that are a part of all societies. whether it's related to same gotra wedding, inter-caste or inter-religion weddings.

What we don't realize is that there exists a more dangerous kind of violence that's often goes unnoticed. The psychological torture that a family is made to undergo or threatened with is what makes fathers so vulnerable. Some crumble while others disown.

Just because there is no blood shed doesn't mean this method is less cruel. A situation when a man is forced to take the view of the society and alienate his own blood cannot be that simple. A situation where he will be constantly looked down upon because his child went against the age old traditions, to say the least is not fair!
Isn't it a pity that while we openly condemn caste system, we in a way say yes to it so blatantly? We also condemn the Taliban, but the truth of the matter is that we all have that parallel government running inside of us. It's just a matter of time when it shows up. While we say we respect the Constitution, the idea of equality scares us. Whether it is between the rich and the poor, Brahmin's and non-Brahmin's or Hindus and non-Hindus. We pretend to be alright with equality, in reality it's our biggest nightmare!

So next time when we talk of Taliban and it's atrocities it would be wise to take a good look inside and spot that nerve which supplies not only blood but inane fanaticism to the Taliban within you!

PS ( The real danger of Taliban does not lie in it's action marred with blood, it lies in the very thought process which justifies or advocates it.)

Divya Jha.